The Lies That Our Wants Tell

overindulgeI love my children! I love how they know what they need, when they need it. I love how they can tell my when they’ve had enough of something or when they need more. I love how innocent and pure that response to need is. It’s untouched by man seemingly connected directly to the Father. When they were babies they would eat until they were full and that was it. Nap, poop, repeat! Even today their habits are the same, with the exception of playing, school and family engagement. There requirements to survive are simple and unbinding.

But what about me? At what point in life did I start to over-consume and over-indulge? When did self control become an issue?

I’m asking this because I was recently diagnosed with pre-diabetes. It runs in my family which means I have a higher than normal risk of developing Type 2 diabetes if I don’t get things under control. A little about me – I’m 5’3, 137 lbs and losing so I’m not overweight and yet I have this condition. At my doctor’s request I began living a no sugar, no carb, exercise daily, no stress lifestyle so that we can determine what sends my levels high and what doesn’t.

I was doing fairly well for the first week or so. Then the enemy got a hold of me. It seemed like everything that could stress me out-stressed me out. I love my kids remember, but they were in to everything, asking for everything, complaining about everything and my husband was coming home late from work and going into the office to zone out! No help there. So I was pretty much spiraling out and the enemy knew it. overindulge

There was no outlet in sight. What do you think I did? Yep, I ate. It started with one cookie here, a peanut cracker there, a taco here, and maybe a little chocolate there. Completely destroying my progress. I was so disappointed in myself. I lost faith. I gave in to what I wanted and didn’t listen to what I needed. I didn’t need the food (which I learned is a costly coping mechanism when I’m stressed). I just needed to communicate clearly and calmly to those around me that I needed some help. I don’t like communicating things I think everyone around me should already know. I’d rather bottle it up and wait for the firestorm, which benefits no one and in this case harms my body.

That’s why I admire kids. They know when they’ve had enough to eat or drink. They know when they’ve had enough play time and need a nap. They have a deep connection to their bodies and they acknowledge it. It’s time I work my way back to that.

Take back what adulthood took away! I believed that since I was an adult I could do whatever, eat whatever, stay up however, just whatever because I was grown. But that lifestyle wasn’t and hasn’t been beneficial. I guess this all brings truth to the statement your choices today will impact your life tomorrow.

Dear Lord,Mariah is (6)

Amen

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