The Lies That Our Wants Tell

overindulgeI love my children! I love how they know what they need, when they need it. I love how they can tell my when they’ve had enough of something or when they need more. I love how innocent and pure that response to need is. It’s untouched by man seemingly connected directly to the Father. When they were babies they would eat until they were full and that was it. Nap, poop, repeat! Even today their habits are the same, with the exception of playing, school and family engagement. There requirements to survive are simple and unbinding.

But what about me? At what point in life did I start to over-consume and over-indulge? When did self control become an issue?

I’m asking this because I was recently diagnosed with pre-diabetes. It runs in my family which means I have a higher than normal risk of developing Type 2 diabetes if I don’t get things under control. A little about me – I’m 5’3, 137 lbs and losing so I’m not overweight and yet I have this condition. At my doctor’s request I began living a no sugar, no carb, exercise daily, no stress lifestyle so that we can determine what sends my levels high and what doesn’t.

I was doing fairly well for the first week or so. Then the enemy got a hold of me. It seemed like everything that could stress me out-stressed me out. I love my kids remember, but they were in to everything, asking for everything, complaining about everything and my husband was coming home late from work and going into the office to zone out! No help there. So I was pretty much spiraling out and the enemy knew it. overindulge

There was no outlet in sight. What do you think I did? Yep, I ate. It started with one cookie here, a peanut cracker there, a taco here, and maybe a little chocolate there. Completely destroying my progress. I was so disappointed in myself. I lost faith. I gave in to what I wanted and didn’t listen to what I needed. I didn’t need the food (which I learned is a costly coping mechanism when I’m stressed). I just needed to communicate clearly and calmly to those around me that I needed some help. I don’t like communicating things I think everyone around me should already know. I’d rather bottle it up and wait for the firestorm, which benefits no one and in this case harms my body.

That’s why I admire kids. They know when they’ve had enough to eat or drink. They know when they’ve had enough play time and need a nap. They have a deep connection to their bodies and they acknowledge it. It’s time I work my way back to that.

Take back what adulthood took away! I believed that since I was an adult I could do whatever, eat whatever, stay up however, just whatever because I was grown. But that lifestyle wasn’t and hasn’t been beneficial. I guess this all brings truth to the statement your choices today will impact your life tomorrow.

Dear Lord,Mariah is (6)

Amen

The Quote Challenge-Day 3

Friends,

Phew! I barely made it today y’all! I’ve been super busy and distracted. Anyway, it’s 10:08 pm and I’m here to deliver my three quotes for today. Unfortunately, this will wind my quote challenge, which I really enjoyed participating in, but I look forward to continually sharing little nuggets I pick up along the way. I was glad for the opportunity. Please make sure you stop by http://www.theungodlywoman.wordpress.com. She has a beautiful blog and give you the real each time she posts.

The Quote Challenge-Day 2

Greetings!

Today’s quotes mean a lot to who I am and who I want to be. With the experiences I’ve had in life I walk with a lot of insecurities and wounds. Some have healed and some will take a lifetime and there are some that only the face of God will heal. I’m good with that! So these give me that extra push to try something new and believe what I know rather than what I’ve been shown by those around me. I hope these bless you or someone you know that could use some inspiration.

The Quote Challenge-Day 1

A friendly lady over at http://www.theungodlywoman.wordpress.com issued a challenge to her subscribers to complete three posts with three quotes for three days. I’d like to say there are definitely a few I keep in my back pocket for a rainy day. So here goes…

By the way, I will reblog this on my other blog http://www.trustedtruthblog.wordpress.com. Hop on over and take a read!

Life’s Hardest Relationship!

What God has taught me in the course of a year is praiseworthy. I initially started this blog as a journal of how I felt (and I felt a lot-all the time) about marriage and my husband and myself. I guess as time has gone on I’ve learned that marriage is the hardest earthly relationship I will ever have.

I’m not perfect and most days that reflects in the choices I make, but to have asked another imperfect person to live up to my perfect expectations was daunting for me and him. God taught me a few things so grab a seat and take read. There’s a lot so I’m breaking this up into a few posts.

  1. My role in this marriage is not about me.

I got married for me. That’s hard to admit, but it’s my truth. I got married because I wanted to be this wife that was perfect. I wanted a better life, but when we got home it seemed I was everything BUT perfect. My flaws began to surface like pimples during puberty! I mean, I looked to the right and I was doing something wrong. I looked to the left and yep, that wasn’t right either. I just couldn’t get wife right. You know what I mean? I know part of it had to do with me not having wife training. My mother married late in life. The other part was I was operating within my own will, strength, power, prayer, desires, etc. Don’t get wrong, God was a part of it, but not THE part of it. He wasn’t my focus. He was my backup plan. I would say, “Ok, God that didn’t work. What can I try next?” Then I would scurry off to another self help book on marriage or the internet. Those were my go to’s on any given day. I think I spent the majority of my first and second year of marriage living someone else’s opinion of what my marriage should be.

So how did I learn the lesson? Well, as I continued on my journey to master the role of a wife I got real tired. It began taking it’s toll on my health and attitude (I was sick for over a year, just recently diagnosed with prediabetes and anemia).

I remember praying one morning a few months ago. I asked God to change me because He was the only person I knew that really had that Power. Not me, not a self help book, not the internet, not my husband. I realized all those things were mastering me. I said, “If being in Your word can change minds, hearts and lives then I’m ready to try it. I give all this to You and I will read and study everyday.” That’s when He shared these verses with me:

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.    Ephesians 4:2  

Do nothing our of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

The reality of my life was I was centering it all on me. It wasn’t about God or my husband. My faith was placed in me. I was not a servant. Heck, I spent so much time reading and researching there wasn’t time to serve, be gentle, humble or patient. During that time I was always defeated, sad, disappointed, angry, and out of control. But oh when He stepped in! He reminded me of His simplest requests. Surrender and Service. This marriage is not about me. It is about God and my husband’s heart and soul. I am here to help him meet Christ and the daily needs of this life. I am here to serve.

Such a Long Time

Greetings followers! It has been much to long since I published here! I know. But I’m back! Since I last wrote my life has changed in so many ways. Well. I have changed in so many ways. You’ll find that my journey in marriage has taken a turn and at the same time remained the same. I hope you forgive me for my walkabout and find precious jewels in what I have to share.

With love,

Tamera