I’m currently reading Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Influence Their Husbands by Gary Thomas and I must say it’s a pretty good read. He basically talks about how we as women shape our homes and how we have the ability to change our husbands by reflecting Christ’s light through us. One particular section talked about how women tend to be passive, not really speaking up for what we want from the relationship. Listen, I tried this, and it didn’t work. I was pretty much given the – you don’t do what I ask so why should I? I have to admit when my husband and I first married I really tried to BE what he desired. That meant reading books together, engaging in long discussions about my past, etc. That didn’t last very long. I lacked the maturity to appreciate those moments and thus lost his desire to engage with me. He decided that since I didn’t appreciate it, he wouldn’t press. So I went to him to share that I wanted those moments to resume; however, without saying it was too late-it was too late. I get that it’s going to take time for him to feel vulnerabe again. We don’t communicate because there’s so much not being said. What I want most is for us to put up the white flags and agree that our marriage is more important to God and that deserves a fight. I wanted the book to tell me how to fix that. I want people to tell me how to fix that and no one or nothing has the answers. But God says my will you won’t find in any book. My will does not come from man. My will doesn’t even come from you. Seek me first and I will give you the desires of your heart. Waiting is the most difficult thing because it requires trust, patience, faith, maturity selflessness. Ugh! The only thing I can do is all of the above and there in lies the INFLUENCE.